You Know You Have Endo When…Endometriosis Memes for Endo-Vidiuals With a Sense of Humor

For those of you who have a sense of humor and a fondness for sarcasm, we’ve compiled a list of “You know you have Endo when…” experiences (and endometriosis memes) that will, hopefully, evoke some lighthearted laughter.

You know you have Endo when… your period is so heavy that you can’t leave the house because you’re afraid you’ll leak in public. (Or you’re in so much pain that you actually can’t leave the house.) So, you catch up on your favorite shows.

You know you have Endo when… you have to change your sheets, sometimes in the middle of the night, because you bled/sweat through your pajamas and bed sheets. Princess and the Pea might be on to something with all of those layers…

You know you have Endo when… most of the time you either can’t poop or can’t stop pooping. (It’s always one or the other.)

You know you have Endo when… you’d literally marry your heating pad. If, that were legal.

You know you have Endo when…your purse or backpack would make your nearest CVS or Walgreens jealous because you have a better selection.

You know you have Endo when… you’re always worried about flare-ups and yet somehow live your life to the fullest (#YOLO).

You know you have Endo when… you are in so much pain that you miss work, events, holidays, etc but your friends, fam, and bae love you anyway because you’re you and you’re awesome.

You know you have Endo when… you smile through the pain because you’re still breathing, and that’s better than nothing.

You know you have Endo when… you look normal but are dying inside.

You know you have Endo when… you have a secret stash of tampons, pads, and menstrual cups hidden in every cabinet, drawer, and bag that you own.

You know you have Endo when… you’re super suspicious whenever you’re not in pain. I mean, two good days in a row, that’s like seeing a unicorn driving a car.

You know you have Endo when… you’re worried your eyes are going to literally fall out of your head the next time someone recommends yoga or crystals for the pain.

You know you have Endo when… you’ve been sitting on the toilet for so long you’re legs have started falling asleep.

You know you have Endo when… your forest of armpit hair is fluffier than the hair on your head.

You know you have Endo when… you can walk into your local MD and say, “Hey, Sharon [or whatever the receptionist’s name is], I’ll have the usual.”

You know you have Endo when… your GP calls you for advice.

You know you have Endo when… you buy sanitary items in bulk.

You know you have Endo when… your underwear declare mutiny.

You know you have Endo when… your friends ask you for a Tylenol and your response is, “Opiates or Oxy, take your pick.”

You know you have Endo when… you think of dogs, cats, and partners as heating pads with legs.

You know you have Endo when… you’re scared to sneeze but you’re not quite sure what’ll come out.

You know you have Endo when… your neighbor asks you how far along you are. #EndoBelly

You know you have Endo when… you experience leap years more frequently than sex.

You know you have Endo when… a few sips of coffee sends you running to the restroom.

You know you have Endo when… you take so many pills/supplements that it’s like swallowing a bag of Trail Mix whole.

You know you have Endo when… you decide it’s just easier to buy a new pair of panties. Because #fucklaundry.

You know you have Endo when… you have pills to help you poo and pills to ensure you don’t poo too much in your bag.

You know you have Endo when… one of your catchphrases is “My uterus is a dick.”

You know you have Endo when… you could easily be mistaken for a pharmacist.

You know you have Endo when… you’re more competent than most doctors.

You know you have Endo when… your pill boxes are actually shipping containers.

You know you have Endo when… you have an entire dresser drawer dedicated to flare-approved clothing.

You know you have Endo when… your pharmacist knows you better than your friends do.

You know you have Endo when… you wake up on the toilet unsure of how you got there.

You know you have Endo when… you don’t own a single pair of white pants.

You know you have Endo when… you can’t see your feet thanks to that lovely #EndoBelly.

You know you have Endo when… leggings have taken over your pant drawer.

You know you have Endo when… sex doesn’t excite you, but cookies sure do!

You know you have Endo when… you take “War and Peace” with you to the bathroom – you’re gonna be in there for a while.

You know you have Endo when… you’ve moved your microwave to your bedside table. Gotta eat those Hot Pockets!

You know you have Endo when… your Amazon “recommended” section lists electric heating pads.

You know you have Endo when… your medical records are organized by volumes, like an Encylopedia.

You know you have Endo when… you can no longer trust a fart.

You know you have Endo when… take the whole house to bed so you don’t have to move again.

You know you have Endo when… you put your heated seats on in the summertime.

You know you have Endo when… you wear a super tampon and an overnight pad to bed.

You know you have Endo when… you’ve named your reproductive organs so it’s easier to talk about them in public. For example, “Chuck is being an asshole or Bertha is acting up again.” (PS just wait until someone hears you talking about evicting them.)

You know you have Endo when… you celebrate a confirmed appointment by buying new heating pads.

You know you have Endo when… you’d rather nap than have sex.

You know you have Endo when… you’ve been sitting on the toilet forever only to pass something that resembles a small rabbit turd.

You know you have Endo when… sex is like a game of Twister.

You know you have Endo when… you take more medication than your grandparents.

You know you have Endo when… you can’t remember the last you had sex, but you look pregnant anyway.

You know you have Endo when… you pack 10 pairs of underwear for a two-day trip, just in case. 

You know you have Endo when… you’ve given birth to a jellyfish via sneeze.

You know you have Endo when… you can barely remember a time when you were embarrassed to toot in front of your partner. (Now they’ve seen everything!)

You know you have Endo when… you have the same pair of pants in three different sizes.

You know you have Endo when… your doctor knows you more intimately than your partner does.

You know you have Endo when… even Satan himself is afraid to dip a toe into your bathwater.

You know you have Endo when… your partner asks you if you have your meds whenever you’re going out of town.

You know you have Endo when… you’re on a first-name basis with your surgeon.