The True Meaning of ‘Romance,’ Defined by an EndoVidual Who’s Had Enough

Romance is not something that should be as ill-defined as the subject matter of the lighthearted and one-dimensional films and books that we use to fill dead time. One of the myriad definitions of “romance,” for example, is “A quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life.”

Living with Endometriosis has the potential to affect every aspect of your life. Sometimes, in ways, you couldn’t possibly anticipate. One of the areas it affects most is a tiny, yet extremely impressionable, piece of our brain that tells us how to feel about ourselves.

With that being said, I think we could all, at times, benefit from a feeling of excitement and remoteness from everyday life (and even mystery, in the right form).

I think deep down we all crave a bit of romance in our lives.

Lately, I’ve become painfully aware of my depression rearing its ugly head in response to all I’ve been dealing with on my Endometriosis journey thus far, and after a spell of wallowing, I was honestly quite sick of feeling sorry for myself — so I enlisted the help of a friend.

My friend Jessica Johansen (the creative behind Freedom by Jess and the #LoveMarketingMethod) is a self-love and business coach, so I decided to sign up for one of her masterclasses to find out more about the ideologies and tools she uses to help others feel good and do good. Turns out, I absolutely adored her class. During her talk, she elaborated on her journey, her personal growth, and how her methods might help others achieve their goals, too.

While Jessica’s hour-long session was predominantly aimed at entrepreneurs and business people, there were definitely a few helpful notes that got me thinking. So, I thought I’d share those thoughts with you. Here’s what I learned on my journey of self-love.

Reflect on what you’re thankful for.

It is incredibly easy to reel off a list of the ways in which Endometriosis has made your life more challenging, but it’s important to take a quick inventory of the wonderful things that are still in your life. Whether it’s the first thing you do in the morning or the last thing you do at night, taking a minute to remember the things that still bring you joy and the things that you’re thankful for (despite the Endo struggle), can make such a huge difference.

Celebrate little victories.

There’s a chance none of us are receiving the daily praise we deserve (whether it’s from a boss, SO, or a certain family member), but remember you’re your own boss. So show yourself some love and appreciation! Setting a little bit of time aside to reflect at the end of each day on your accomplishments, no matter how small, will remind you that your efforts are valued and your actions matter.

You showered today? Go on, baby girl!

You got through a meeting without feeling nauseated? Who’s a champ?!

You remembered to take your meds on time? Slay, sister!

Laugh (a lot), because laughter is literally the best medicine.

I won’t lie to you, this condition can be brutalizing — both physically and mentally. Sometimes, you’ll feel like it’s sucking the life out of you and honestly, that’s when you need to fight the hardest. One of my main weapons of choice? Laughter. Whether that means curling up to watch a movie, comedy special, or venting my Endo-related frustrations via memes (If you haven’t checked out Endometriosis Memes on Facebook yet, you’re missing out), laughter is a great way to elevate your mood and bring those cortisol levels down!

Be kind to yourself and smile.

Beyond telling yourself “Thank you” and “Well done,” it’s important to use some of those spoons to look after yourself. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture of love or anything, but adding a little bit of romance into your day that’s just for you can do wonders.

For me, things like having a silent cup of tea in the garden with no screens, doing my five-minute bedtime skincare routine (that I use to help look after my hormone-trampled skin) or (when I’m at my fighting best) baking brownies, are the things that count.

Try to find the time to do whatever it is that works for you because you are truly worth every second.

Living with Endometriosis is different each and every day and there are plenty of things that happen that are completely out of our control. The one thing we do have control over, however, is how we treat ourselves through it all. My advice? Take some time tonight and romance yourself a little, you deserve it!