3 Things You Should Know Before Telling Your SO About Endo

Living with Endometriosis is challenging, to say the least. It can take a toll on every aspect of your life, especially your relationships (both romantic and platonic). And if you’re anything like me, the last thing you’d want is for your pain to become someone else’s burden — especially when it comes to your SO.

For me, communication is key. Here are a few ways I’ve learned to deal with Endometriosis and maintain a healthy relationship.

Don’t be afraid to explain what you’re going through.

When it came to having my SO understand Endo and how it plagues my daily activities, I bombarded him with pamphlets and websites to review — and it did not go well. Without meaning to, I completely overwhelmed him.

After that fiasco, I began to gradually talk to him about Endo, what it is, and how it was impacting my life. Once he understood what I was going through, he was better able to support me. I just had to explain it in a way that wasn’t scary and overwhelming, but it didn’t happen overnight.

Remember, support goes both ways.

At first, I didn’t feel supported in my relationship. I felt like he didn’t understand what was going on, at all. He would always ask: “Do you feel better today?”

Most days, I feel like shit and it’s hard to get out of bed.

At one point, I was utterly fed up and just wanted to call it quits. But before giving up on the man I loved, I wanted to see how he felt. I never thought about how he felt about our situation. I was sick in bed, I could barely move, and there was nothing he could do to change that. So, we talked. We talked about how he could better support me, and how I could better support him.

Even though I have Endo, and he may never be able to understand the pain it causes me, we are both navigating this experience together.

Intimacy doesn’t always mean sex.

Now let’s talk about the elephant in the room — sex. #EndoSisters, I know most of you know that sex can be painful, but one thing I’ve learned is that communication is vital.

So what’s a girl to do? Talk to your partner and welcome all types of intimacy. While sex may not be on the horizon for you that day, tell your partner you’re open to other ideas. Whether it’s cuddling or playing his favorite video game. Sometimes, even the most mundane activities (like washing your clothes or the dishes) can become sexy. You just have to be open and honest about how you’re feeling and what you need.

Some days Endo will take over, but it’s important to keep pushing and fighting for love. In the battle between Endo and your love life, it is up to you to decide who will win.