My OBGYN Found Endo on My Fallopian Tubes and All Over My Bladder

I was diagnosed with Endo in October 2017, and it was the most life-changing event of my 20s.

I had a talk with my mother about a year before (August 2016), and she told me that she (and most of my aunts) had a disease that resulted in a hysterectomy – they were between the ages of 23 and 26. At the time, I honestly didn’t think anything of it. I was feeling fine and figured that it wouldn’t happen to me. But boy, was I wrong.

I’d been on the same birth control for about five years and I usually stayed pain-free. When I started to get painful cramps again, I figured my body was so used to being on that pill that it was time for a change. I switched birth control, and the pain worsened. I felt like someone was beating my ass every day, and to top it off I gained 25 pounds in two months. Eventually, I decided I’d had enough. I listened to my body and went off of the birth control entirely until my next pap (August 2017).

I began to log when I was having pain, what I ate, when the pain occurred, and the time of the month. The pain started to increase dramatically in July 2017 – it was more than I could bear. I had back cramps, stomach cramps, and my first experience with rectal cramps, all at once.

All I could do was cry out in pain.

In August 2017, I went in for my pap with my pain log and my family’s medical history. I was ready to advocate for myself (side note: I have always been nervous to advocate for myself when it comes to medical decisions). My OBGYN believed me without having to see all the items I had prepared. She then began to schedule minor procedures in an attempt to rule out fibroids or anything else that may have caused my pain before scheduling laparoscopic surgery. I had an ultrasound – nothing. I had a saline infusion sonohysterography – nothing. Surgery was my only other option.

My lap went smoothly, and my OBGYN found two cysts on my fallopian tubes, one cyst on my ovary, Endo on my fallopian tubes, and all over my bladder, as well. The Endo fused my bladder and my uterus.

I finally received an official diagnosis of Stage II Endometriosis.

After surgery, my life truly changed. I had been wanting the official diagnosis, but I didn’t really understand what it meant. I absolutely hated that I was right. I was right about the Endo and I was damn mad about it. I felt isolated, terrified, and confused. I eventually spent hours crying because this had happened to me. I hated my body and what it was doing. I hated the fact that my fertility was questionable. Out of all the things I have wanted to be in my life, I’ve most wanted to be a mother, and now the odds of that happening are doubtful. I gave up on everything and shut down completely. I spent many nights sobbing in the bathtub and praying the water would wash the pain away.

Thankfully, I am finally in a space where I can start living life again. I was frozen for too long, and I forgot who I really was. But now, this wild sunflower is finally back, and I’m reaching towards the sunshine on the cloudiest of days.